Last Sunday I swam laps at the Sport Center pool. I was relieved to see an empty lane since I’m not good at sharing. To my left was a middle-aged dad in baggy swim trunks, and to my right was an older lady sporting snorkel gear. No contest.
I climbed in and purposely didn’t make eye contact with either of my neighbors. I am so nearsighted that I am blind without my glasses. Add to my blindness tinted goggles and I am hopeless when it comes to recognizing people. It’s a good thing, because along with the be-goggled eyes, I modeled a pony-tail stuffed up in an attractive silver swim cap and a sturdy one-piece navy blue lap suit. That gives you a pretty realistic picture—minus the “pretty”.
I started my rhythm of freestyle out and backstroke back, but realized I wasn’t quite as speedy as I imagined. I caught sideways glimpses of splashes coming up behind me, striped suits passing me, and ripples leaving me in their wake. I kicked harder, but I just couldn’t out-swim either one of my now competitors. The dad was even swimming breast stroke, for goodness’ sake.
I thought about it a bit and decided that maybe I at least looked better than they did. (Did I forget that I was wearing goggles and a swim cap?) Or maybe I would swim longer than they did and therefore needed to pace myself. Or maybe I didn’t even care if they beat me. I was so focused on comparing myself to them that I bumped into the lane lines between us a few times. I finally gave up, four laps shy of my goal of fifty.
Then I remembered my resolve earlier this month to “stay in my lane”. It came after failing to achieve my publicly-posted goal to “write every day for one hour for the month of April”. That goal morphed mid-stream to “write for a half hour some days in April”. I followed it up with an admonition to myself to “stay in my lane”. Today I was failing to do so, both literally and figuratively. The strangers on either side of me were oblivious to the fact that we were racing.
Why, then, was I deciding who was better?
Why do I so often compare myself, or wonder what I’m doing that is impressive? My life, in the world’s eyes, doesn’t make sense. I don’t work outside of the home (five hours a week at church doesn’t really count), and I don’t spend my days caring for small children or aging parents. I don’t know what’s happening in Great Britain or at PTA meetings. I don’t even own slacks. And I can’t keep my own goals—like to swim fifty laps or to write every day for one hour for the month of April.
What do I do, then? Well, I host people. And coordinate things. I drop off forgotten lunches or papers, field questions on how to eat with allergies, write notes, make lattes for the young women who come to talk with me, and feed college kids.
Most importantly, though, I spend time in God’s word, and I talk about it with others. It’s a good thing, because it reminds me who I am.
The day following my swim contest I reviewed a chapter from Nancy Guthrie’s excellent book, Even Better than Eden, with a young mom. The chapter is entitled, “The Story of His Image”, and it traces the story of God’s image through the Bible. Throughout, it shows us how we are meant to see ourselves as God’s image-bearers.
At the beginning of the Bible, we were created in God’s image—one of righteousness and holiness, one that exercises dominion, and one that is royal. That image, though, was marred by sin. It was defiled and distorted, and we came to resemble not our Creator but all that we tried to replace Him with.
Then came Jesus.
By his death and resurrection, Jesus made it possible for God’s image to be restored in us. We are now in the process of being remade into the image we were meant to bear. Guthrie says, “The new is breaking into the now. We aren’t yet totally new—but we are genuinely new…As we abide in Christ and saturate our hearts and minds with the Scriptures, and as we welcome the convicting, cleansing work of the Spirit in our lives, what the Scriptures say about who we are is beginning to shape our sense of self more than what the mirror or the culture around us or even our own bio says about us.”
So what Scriptures do I need to be more saturated in?
2 Peter 1:3-9, for one. It says–(deep breath)– “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.”
Who am I, not in the world’s eyes but in the eyes of God? According to this passage, I possess all I need for life and godliness. I am granted the precious and very great promises of God. And through them I can partake in his divine nature.
What am I tasked with, if for me in this season it may not be a full-time job outside of the home, swimming medals, or writing enough to publish something? I am called foremost to supplement my faith with virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and love.
This passage promises that if these qualities are mine and are increasing, they will keep me from being ineffective or unfruitful in my knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Wow.
And without them, what am I? It says I am so nearsighted that I am blind. It sounds familiar…
Staying in my own lane means opening my mind and heart to the growth of these qualities through the work of His Spirit and His word. It means not wishing I was someone different or better, but asking that I may be effective and bear fruit.
Swim cap, goggles, and all.
Hope and Be.Longing
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